Doesn’t matters much that which place you have recently reached, prize you’ve won, money you’ve got in your pocket, landed on a job or just bought a car.. you still have basic human urges to fulfill, emotions to feel good and satisfaction to achieve. Doesn’t matters whether you’ve just climbed to moon.. you still need air to breathe and water to drink. Doesn’t matters how rich you are, you still needs few friends who truly loves you instead of your money. Doesn’t matters whether you are in Silicon Valley or Hollywood if you just woke up hung-over with your head spinning and feeling like throwing up..
Regardless.. of everything!
Forget all “if only.. this happens” and start living abundantly right now! Start being happy! Start enjoying yourself and everybody and everything and every moment around you!
Right when I was just feeling.. “I’m sorry dad.. I messed up.” Never before but this time he reads me and says.. “Oh son, come on.. I’m glad you did what you felt like doing. What is there to worry about it? Look it this way.. Everything is still the same and as good as before.. Look at this guy..”
Reaction; it’s the basic thing we do. We do it every day, every moment and everywhere with everyone. And as the basic law of nature, behind every reaction, there is an action. And most of the times in our life, the one producing the action is other than us, there is the second person. All we do is produce an unconscious reaction to it, which is an automatic process almost in every case. There comes an action, we produce reaction. There comes a stimulus, and we produce a response to it. There is cause, and there is effect. It’s natural.
But there is one very important thing to consider in between here. In every action and reaction process, there is a very small gap, negligible one. As soon as someone says something to us, we have very small time span before we finally produce some response to it. That, the gap between the stimulus and response, sensation and reaction, is one of the very important aspects of human life. It is the moment, which defines our happiness. It is a powerful weapon, tool in our life, if only we can use it consciously for our own good, and for everyone else’s. We can choose what to respond to what. We can choose what to say for what. We can choose what to do in what situation. We can think what to think.
We can choose to smile or frown, we can choose to be happy or angry. We can choose to understand, or bully. We can choose to fight back, or spread love.
But most of the time, we just fail to recognize this gap, the gap between stimulus and response. And we start playing a ‘blame game’. We start saying this was not my fault, situation was not in my favor, there was nothing I could do, he started it first, he knew everything, and he was stupid. Well, are you intelligent enough to understand the situation and produce an action consciously? Don’t you have the option to produce the action according to your desire?
Buddha/Osho says, “Don’t go blindly after the sensations, but instead, just watch them. Be conscious about what is happening.” This is even broader than just being conscious and acting according to our desire. They say you don’t need to hate anything because it hurts you or like it because it provides you good sensation. Just watch them, stay neutral as you try to become conscious. Soon then you’ll realize, what you felt bad is not really bad. What you thought you hate is not really worth hating. Your pain is not really yours. Even the good things you see are not really the good things you actually believe in. Your ego disappears. Your “I” disappears. You understand everything is changing every moment. There is nothing to stick to. You will not suffer anymore. And then you begin to smile. You smile without any cause.
Be a player who plays the game, not the ball who is being played. Drive the car to your destination; don’t just be driven by a moving car. Act, not react.
Visit http://smileship.com if you are in hurry and do not feel like reading the rest, ‘coz that’s all what I am talking about here in this post.
Relationship, friendship, smileship? It just means getting two person together with a simple smile. Smile, is a very powerful tool I have realized in years. And one day, suddenly while reading some article, I felt like, “Why not make an app that lets people upload their smile and share it with others?” Well, to be honest, there are already lots of more ideas in my ideas-log most of which are the Next Big Thing (from my view-point). But there is a small problem with the The Next Big Thing. And I was already feeling pressurized by not making any application so far. And the feeling that, may be I could land with a job if I made this site happen, urged me strongly to do so.
Well, Smileship is a pretty simple, straight forward application, all done in the simple hardcore php, mysql and twitter bootstrap. It didn’t require much. I made this website just to make it, to prove myself, “yes, I can also code.” And, absolutely, there is no catch anywhere. I don’t expect much from it. I have played with WordPress a little but not really much. I did made http://chitwan.info earlier, but there is no data, and the site is kind-of left orphan. May be some day I might fill it up or let it go. Anyway..
You know the benefits of smiling? I bet you do. I don’t have to explain it here. Just Google it. And even though we all know about all the benefits of smiling, why are we not doing so? I can feel that may be we just forgot to smile. Just to feel more serious about our professional career, our life and responsibility, we just forgot to savor every moment which can be done by just feeling happy and sharing it with a very simple smile. Not only you or him, me too, don’t smile, not much anyway. I hope my website will help me smile more often than before. That’s one benefit.
A friend of mine said, “what is the business model? It looks promising though.” Really? I felt really happy that someone said, “It looks promising though.” At least somebody felt that it’s worthy. I’m happy that I did it. And about the business model? I might just place few Google ads in the sidebar later on, if it turns out to be really promising. For now, let me seek a job by showing it as my portfolio. I have faced numerous interview failures till now.. [Well, let's talk about this in later post, someday when..]
But you know what? Employers suck. (Sorry my future boss.) They don’t understand things. They just look through their perspective. I mean everyone does, but at least one can try to understand what other means. But between the relation of employees and employers.. I don’t think that’s anywhere near.
So that’s all behind Smileship. You visit the site, register yourself and upload your smile. And if you really, really can’t smile, you can at least see how come many of these people are already smiling so much.
At times, I thought, may be my site could turn out to be famous like, rainymood, endoftheinternet, nyan.cat, milliondollarhomepage, or facemash. But a friend of mine says, “Even though Facebook is a great success, it took him more than 8 years to be where he is now.”
The site I’ve been talking about is http://smileship.com.
Disclaimer: This post is full of contradiction. I am not trying to define love here.
So, yesterday I watched a Telugu movie “Arya” once again. It’s a nice love story. It shows somewhat about one-sided love, about how madly a guy can love a girl, without expecting anything in return. It has a very nice presentation. And specially, that song which has really awesome and funny lyrics.
Every love is one-sided. Actually, love is one-sided only, unconditional. If there is condition, understand that there is something else in play. A love by a father to his child. A love by a teacher to his student. And most of all, love by a mother to her children. It’s never conditional. It doesn’t want anything in return from for the love they have given and doesn’t needs any conditions to love them. I understand there are some aspects, that might seem they do want something, but that is not the entire truth. For eg. A teacher may want his paycheck from his students for the education he has given. But, put a teacher and give him money, put a student in front of him. Will the teaching be any good if it is just like that? There is something internal, that drives the teacher to teach to his student. Love is something you give with no expectation of anything in return. May be one thing in return, satisfaction. And one may say, satisfaction is a simple function of expectation and understanding. But that is also, somehow, unsatisfactory.
And talking about the love at first sight, between opposite sex, love never happens at first sight. At least that is what I believe; might be ‘coz I’ve never been on one. So called love at first sight, is all about attraction, about the opposite sex. Might be the personality in play. It might be infatuation or something. Or may be, it is the certain situation that causes some sort of feeling, a feeling to get him/her or something. One thing strange about one-sided love is, the feelings are like roller coaster. At a mood, you might feel like adrenaline rush in your veins. And after sometime you just might not care anymore, like as if nothing happened.
Okay, a friend of mine says, you can fall in love at one sight. Sometime, you visit a place and you like it so much that you just don’t want to go anywhere. You see a mountain, and you feel like being in love with it. You see a river, or something extra that you don’t see in your daily routine and you just fall in love with them at the very first instant of seeing it. So, isn’t that “first-sight love”? Me: Yeah it is. Or may be, kind-of. I fall in love with these stuffs, even without seeing them. Everybody loves seeing mesmerizing scenery, being in touch with the nature. One doesn’t even needs to see it to love it. The love for such things is already in your heart, in everybody’s heart. If one doesn’t have love inside ones heart for something, you don’t like it after seeing, not matter how beautiful it is. The same way, you see a baby “cat” or even a baby “tiger”, or a baby “goat”, you like them at the very instant you first see them. You feel like loving them. But believe me, most of us, I can almost say, all of us will also hate the cat at the very same instant if it bites you. Don’t you? Do you find a wild-human-eating tiger lovely?? They are natural, they look silk, cozy, feels innocent, that’s why we like them. We feel like we love them. In a way, we definitely do. But, that is not the love I am talking about, in the context of “a boy and a girl” anyway. One might get super infatuated seeing another guy/girl in the very first encounter, like him/her so much that he feels like giving up everything he/she has got to see just another smile of him/her. One might go crazy, go nuts. This feeling, might turn out to be love at some point in future, I believe so. But, at the very instant of seeing someone, you get a felling, and that’s not love. It’s just simply attraction.
To be love, as I see, there has to elapse time between two persons. They two has to share moments together. Share each others feelings. Feel each other situations. Then only I see there can be an unconditional love. Does that seems to be contradictory? What I mean is, after a certain moments you spend with some person, after sharing some feelings, there comes a moment when you truly start caring, you truly start feeling for that person. You want to sacrifice everything you have for that one persons smile, and want nothing in return. You stat valuing that person, not evaluating.
I see that lots of people tell they are in love with each other after evaluating each other with their own personal preference and check list if they come to fit in. But as I see it, it is just understanding. Not love. I don’t mean to say that it is bad or something. That is okay. But still, there is no love. Here are conditions, and that condition satisfies the needs of this relationship. And as we see, conditions are never the same, preferences changes, priority changes, that’s why such relationships never last long. And I think this is the main reason why so many people in the west split and broke up their relations so much and so fast.
About the true love, one of my deeply valued friend says, “Love is like the laws of science. It is true one moment, and no one know when that’s going to fall short.” I agree and not, both. Another lover friend of mine says, “Love is when it happens, not when you create it.” Again I agree with this one too, and then I am again contradicted with myself. That is why they say, no one knows what is love. To define in very simple words, love is just pure feelings. That is why only living beings can love and not robots. You can define all the properties of love you may find in a robot. The robot can take care of you, talk with you, hell, even have sex with you. But the one thing that it will always lack, is feelings. And that is why we say love can’t be defined as what it is. Every one of us has feelings. And hence no-ones love is true or false. May be love is just some, weird, feeling. And may be feeling is, life. And may be, that is why they say, “Love is life.” What ever gives you life, is love. Osho says, “In love only, you become free. Everything else tries to cage you in.”
Many people think to love. While some people, just love.
I don’t know how many kind of love there are in the world. But anyway, I think I can explain two of them. Consider a beautiful rose, in a beautiful garden, and two simple persons. Both of these person says, “I love rose.” Now consider, one of these person says, “I love this rose. I want it. I want to keep it in my vase. Perhaps, I can gift it to my girlfriend.” The another person says, “This rose is really beautiful. Perhaps I should nurture it, take care of it. I should pour water to its root. I should clear the environment around it. If only I can protect it.” Both is love.
One can truly love not only one person, but the whole world together, with truly true love. But that depends on what kind of person you are and what love means for you.
As we see, love is undefinable, one doesn’t really knows how to do it. But one thing I have information about, if friendship. It’s sort of, definable, I guess. And that’s why some say, be friendly. Friendly to everybody, friendly to each one on earth. Not only humans, with goats and chickens. With rose and cactus. With camels and deserts. With trees and ocean. And everything that you see around. And most importantly, truly, be friendly with yourself. May be someday, I might just encounter love somewhere, and exclaim with joy, Eureka! Eureka!!
Me; I am trying to be friendly as far as I think is possible, though there is no limit of friendliness. And as it seems up to now, I am terrible at it.
One sided lovers are donors. And the best thing about one-sided love is, your love never fails. – Arya
Last week I met a Swiss guy, John*, during his visit to Nepal. He had been travelling around the world since last six months, and will continue for another six months to come. He is in his 30th. Thanks to Airbnb, which made meeting him possible. Meeting him, all the time spent with him, was really wonderful time. I got to learn a lot about travelers’ lifestyle, about the culture in Switzerland, and a lot about the places he has already visited during his travel period. I wonder if every people travelling the world are like John! Friendly, intelligent, adventurous… He seem to be driven by his heart. And unlike most of us, who prefer thinking with the brain instead of following one’s heart, he is an example. And after hearing a lot about minimalistic lifestyle, living on the road and stuffs from blogs on internet, I got to meet a person who is living that life. Among lots of other things from which I was inspired through him, below are few which I would like to list here.
- Travelling around the world, spending all his hard-earned money, not because he was running from/for something, but because he is enjoying it, enjoying life every moments while travelling.
- He is proactive, friendly and excited with everyone he meets around. I wonder how he does that!
- Once I wanted to share the eBook I had downloaded from internet, but he said, “tell me the name, I will buy it.” And I said “why do you want to pay if I am already sharing it for free?” He said, “it’s giving back to the community. I am earning now, and I respect the work writer has done.”
- We were talking about the importance and insights from Gita and Vedas. Once he asked me, “have you read Veda?” Me: No. John: “Why not? After all it is that interesting and important as it seems to be from your explanation.” And I was like, speechless.
- He knows a lot about meditation, and is learning even more actively recently. He regularly practices it. He talks about it, inspires others about it.
- Despite being a full-time professional, he was able to win awards in swimming. Did pilot training. DJ-ing. Deep sea diving. I wonder how is he able to manage time for all these stuffs. After all, everyone has no more than 24 hours a day.
- He read a lot. One book a week, regularly. In the last six months of travelling, he had read 30 books. More than the total books I’ve read in my lifetime.
- He always talked about one thing; “internal feeling,” pointing his hands toward his heart. He says, “whatever your heart says, is exactly the right thing. You just need to understand it, and understand it in time. And it’s not very difficult. Just follow through your heart, everything goes right then.” And he says, “this is the only reason why I am living a good life, a life with satisfaction.”
- Unlike us, he hasn’t/hadn’t planned much about the trip he is making. While on the go, as he hears something interesting, he says “let’s do it.” No demands to be made, no standards to be followed, no risks to be thought and nothing. If he felt like doing, he just does. No second thought about it. From the “internal feeling.”
- He used to be a heavy smoker long time ago. And one day suddenly he felt like, “that’s enough! I’m done with it.” And boom, he just quit it.
- He has two small companies back in Switzerland. And as we talked about his business and stuffs, he says, “we don’t need to expand. I’m already earning good money, living a good life. Why take more hassle in not-so-important stuffs?” I felt little weird about it though. Who would not want to expand their business and why? But I understand that everything depends on people, and what success means to them.
As everyone knows, Switzerland is one of the most beautiful countries. And as he says, Swiss girls too are beautiful. And this is when I made my thought about going to Switzerland someday, while my trip around the world, where I can inspire some more to-be-world-travelers, like me now.
John* is not his real name.
Visit http://couchsurfing.com to meet travelers from around the world in your place.